Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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