Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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