So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
