I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
