before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
