oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just google imaged poop.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize