Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize