I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
