if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
