i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it penis luge time yet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
