so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
