Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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