I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i will never coherently bang her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
