my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
