I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
