you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize