is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
