drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
