In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
