You don't have asthma, your pregnant
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
