Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
