who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
