I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
