STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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