Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
