it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
