she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
