Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
