Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
