Ketchup is God's man juice
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize