A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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