I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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