this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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