It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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