i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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