that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Four minutes until I can fart!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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