If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
