I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
