And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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