I accidentally burped into my bong.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
