The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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