he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
