1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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