It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
