why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
