Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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