She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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