pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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