Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
