thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
