Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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