shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
