I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A+ Viking dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
