i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
