yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
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