i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
MIDGETS
????
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
