I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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