sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
