i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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