had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
