We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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