I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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