i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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