Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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